I am HOMESICK.
There, I said it..
It has been months since I’ve had these feelings, which is rather surprising for me. Before the big move to Colorado, I had never really ventured anywhere for an extended period of time, besides little things like camp & vacations. I stayed around home for school and work after high school, mainly because I felt safe & secure. After all it was the only place I had ever known. When Drew and I really started taking about moving away from Indiana, I never had any doubtful feelings, mainly because I knew I would always have my number one security, my best friend and husband by my side to help me through anything God decides to send our way.
The first time I really felt homesick was within our first week of living in Colorado. A couple of days after we got settled into our new apartment, I got a phone call from my step dad Ed saying that my mom was being admitted into the hospital for an emergency appendix surgery. My healthy and active mama..I couldn’t wrap my head around the situation, and being eighteen hours away from her for the first major thing to ever go wrong was SO hard on me. I would have done anything to just get in my car and make the trip right back to where I came from, but I couldn’t. The overwhelming sense of homesickness hit me like a brick wall, a feeling I had never felt before. Luckily with the help of modern technology and my amazing husband, I was able to keep up with my mama and the progress she was making. Thankfully today, she is healthy, happy, and has made a full recovery.
In the last couple weeks since our trip home to Indiana, I have felt the feelings of homesickness all over again. For some dumb reason, I didn’t realize that leaving a place that was once so familiar to me could make these feelings sweep over me again. As much as I loved being back ‘home’ in Colorado, my heart is aching for all the fun and exciting things I’ve been missing out on with my family and friends in Indiana, like weddings, babies, engagements, and get togethers.
It breaks my heart.
I wish there was a way to just close my eyes and teleport right back to Indiana whenever my heart desires, just so I don’t have to miss these things that I would do anything to be a part of. I know moving 18 hours away from home has it’s benefits, but this is one of the major downsides that I just have to deal with. In the last year, I have felt less and less like a part of things, like my group of friends & even my family and more & more like a stranger. I hate saying that, because I know that I am SO loved by so many, and for that I am SO grateful, but once you move, it is so easy to understand the meaning of ‘out of sight & out of mind.’ I have never felt more like the odd ball out in my own family and in my group of friends than I do now by missing out on so many important things that I could would have been a part of if I just lived back at home. Again, WHY DOESN’T TELEPORTING EXIST!?!? We’ve been blessed with some new friends in Denver, and the company of an old friend moving to this beautiful state has is helping these feelings that I have dissipate, but there is just something about feeling completely connected with your loved ones that I have been missing more than words could explain.
I’m not writing this post for a pity party, or even sympathy for that matter. I have been beyond blessed by having this opportunity to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally with my husband in Colorado. This experience has opened my eyes in so many ways, and I now truly know what it’s like to fully depend on my husband and his love & support, which has helped me and our relationship in numerous ways. I am so thankful to have my Drew, he somehow always knows what to do to bring me right back to reality and open my eyes to the wonderful blessings and experiences we’ve had in our lives and I know this feeling of homesickness is just a phase that will eventually pass. Tell your loved ones how you feel today & everyday, because you never know how much they need to hear it.
Until next time my friends & thanks for stopping by!